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1. Jordan’s constant insistence that management hire the Monstars team from Space Jam.
2. Team severely demotivated after uniforms changed to Hanes T-Shirt and tighty-whities
3. Only coaching skill learned from Phil Jackson was “give the ball to Michael Jordan a lot.”
4. Inexperienced players keep tripping over MJ’s giant tongue
5. Jordan screams at any player who turns their back to the cameras.
